A Contemporary Romance ~ 3 out of 5 Stars. A Goodreads score of 3 = 'I liked it'.
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REVIEW INTRO
After my first foray into reading Indy-published books, I must admit I was a little dubious about reading another. But I'd been following Jennifer J. Coldwater via Instagram for a month or so, and her content reassured me that there was purpose and substance to her writing mission. So, this is the second self-published novel I have knowingly read. I say knowingly, because I have read a large number of Romance novels in my time, but it wasn't until I started writing my own book and learning about the literary industry, that I started paying attention to publishing details.
Full disclosure I started writing this review way back when I finished 'Holland My Heart' on the 11th of March 2023. Over two months later, while trying to focus on progressing my own manuscript, working full time in a day job as well as renovating a property most weekends, I'm finally getting back to this review. Thank goodness for my kindle and its note taking ability - I mean I remember Holland the main female character and Kai her wealthy love interest who is reminiscence of The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) at least that's what my brain conjured up when I read about his clean shaven head - but it's good to have my kindle notes to refer to, even if I can't email them to myself - which makes things a little more difficult for review. Anyway, thanks for your patience Jennifer and apologies for taking so long to write this.
SUMMARY
I enjoyed reading 'Holland My Heart'. I'm happy to recommend it and believe it will be enjoyed by a wide range of readers. It offers the build up to some pretty steamy spice, while also offering a decent amount of substance and backstory which I really appreciate because that takes effort and thought from the author, and makes the story more realistic - fallible, wounded characters and all that jazz.
I'd be proud to have written this story. There's a decent build up to the obligatory 'get together' and in my humble unpublished opinion I also think Holland's adversity-filled past is well established too - and definitely explains her behaviour at key 'crisis' points in the story.
Here's my random take on what this book is about: this book is about the traumatic consequences that occur when women who shouldn't have children have children. I can relate, I'm a woman that was lucky enough to realise before it was too late that being a mother was not the right choice for me.
“All this testosterone,” she wailed as she threw some clothes in a bag. “I can’t hear myself think. I’m not running away from you, baby,” she said as she kissed me on the top of my head. “I’m running toward me.” And I haven’t heard from her since.”
"Fuck those abandoning bitches.."
I definitely think if I had, had children I would have probably wanted to run away, but I think push come to shove I would have stayed and looked after them mostly due to the fact it's the right thing to do, not to mention the societal pressure placed on women should they choose to, not do the right thing. In my humble, non-mother opinion being a mother is the. hardest. job. in. the. world!
I'm still figuring out how I want to structure / format my book reviews. I want to get to a point where I can get a good deconstruction of a novel down in words so I can understand the elements that make it what it is. In this review, I've taken the key elements that I score a book against and attempted to explain why I gave the book the score I did. So without further ado... here are the elements as I see it of 'Holland My Heart'.
CONFLICT - 4 out of 5
When I read this book I thought the central conflict in 'Holland My Heart' was an internal one between the MFC (main female character), Holland and herself. Specifically, a conflict relating to her childhood trauma of which she must overcome if she is to achieve a HEA (happily ever after) ending. Holland must learn to love herself, and see herself for what she is, not who her mother led her to believe she was. However having researched into the Story of Ruth and reflecting on the fact that this book is a retelling of that biblical story, I think I may have been too literal in my first attempt at defining the conflict. More on this in the Theme section below.
Conflict is considered the life blood of any story, creating tension, launching plot and evoking theme. We learn early on that the conflict or problem our main female character has is an extreme tension between herself and her mother - but we are not given insight into why, just that Holland holds a significant amount of anger towards her mother. This is Hollands internal conflict/problem.
It's not until 27% through the book that we learn more about Holland's mother. "Wanderlust was really the only trait" Holland adopted from her mother. This is also where Holland let's slip to Kai - much to her own compunction - that her mother use to "wake me in the middle of the night sometimes, throw me and a bag in the car, and just drive."
Interestingly when Holland is sizing Kai up (30% through the story) - she notes there is no mention of Kai's mother when googling his family and this "sets off red flag-high-danger-abort-abort-abort signals which [she] blindly silences and locks away in [her] mind." Is Holland projecting her own problematic secret onto her love interest here?
Later, we find out that both main characters share the conflict of 'missing mothers'. So even though Holland is not forthcoming about her mother at the start of the book, secretly blaming her alcoholic mother for her fatherless life. Holland is ripe with missing daddy issues - cue Kai the older, wealthy, fatherly figure who also has mother issues to take care of her and who she eventually opens up to about her childhood and reckless mother.
TENSION 2 out of 5
I'm wondering if this particular element of a novel is difficult to cultivate in the Romance genre? While the plot does lends itself to a 'history could repeat itself' ominous vibe of: "my husband died and I don't want to go through that kind of pain and grief ever again. This isn't even hinted at in the book. For example the MFC could have shut herself off to love forever more in an attempt to protect herself from ever having to deal with such a tragedy again.
It would be natural for Holland to self-sabotage, hiding away from life to mitigate future heartbreak but this is not layered into the story much, although there is a period of mourning which the MFC is shunted out of by her Mother-in-law (the mother of her dead husband). But because this is a retelling of 'The Book of Ruth' and about women doing what they need to do to survive in this man's world - I suspect hiding from the world due to adversity was not a plot option.
Tension wise though, the book doesn't really offer up a foreboding tone. Unless, that is, you count Holland's own ability to be triggered relatively easily (due to a traumatic childhood) and then misread situations that could have significant negative consequences for her.
I think (again in my unhumble unpublished opinion) the story could have explored Kai's all male upbringing a little more, and created more potential 'red-flag' tension for Holland. Kai's lack of a mother-figure in his childhood could highlight some issues he too needed to work through.
PLOT 4 out of 5
The plot definitely has a solid beginning, middle and end - it follows the structure of the original telling. Holland's husband's early exit from the world leads to a series of changes in her life, moving the story forward at a nice pace. Finally she meets Kai, through the matchmaking meddling of her Mother-in-law, and this enables the HEA final end act. Not without us getting full insight into why Holland behaves the way she does. When finally confronting her mother she says...
"You made me feel rejected. By him. By you." Maybe she's too sick to understand any of this, but I have to say it. "My fiancé, this perfect man I've fallen in love with, has to suffer the consequence of your choices all the time. I nearly ruined everything at the mere suggestion of his rejecting me. That's on you. Can you see that?"
The above, nicely summing up in an overt way all the plot events.
THEME 4 out of 5
I'm not a religious person, so I had to research what 'The Book of Ruth' was about.
A quick google search suggests the underlying theme for 'The Book of Ruth' is redemption. Being saved from sin, error or evil or regaining/gaining possession of something in exchange for payment or debt clearing.
I believe Coldwater intentionally plays with the concept of 'sin' in the book, all of which dials up the spice of the book.
"I slide down the hidden zipper of my skirt, then hook my thumbs under the satin waistband, and lower it to reveal the intricate ivory silk satin garter belt attached with twenty-four carat gold rings to ivory satin garters - but no stockings. This is why I've felt sexy as sin all day."
Another search return suggested 'The Book of Ruth' teaches us that human beings naturally find love and family connections where ever they are, irrespective of the ethnicity and faith of the people they fall in love with. In the original telling Ruth was not Jewish, but her first marriage was to a Jewish man. Holland's first marriage stepped her from her poor origins into wealth. Her second relationship (the HEA) speaks to the interracial side of things referenced in 'The Book of Ruth'. Although there is no racial tension that I can remember being aware of.
There are delightful snippets of life-advice dotted through the story as Holland goes on her journey of authentic, self-discovery. I love this about romance novels! I love how the good ones offer up these useful (to the reader) life concepts that help us make sense of the world we live in. Coldwater goes one step farther - offering an explanation of the work we must do to identify our own values. Holland's top value is connection - which of course aligns to the theme mentioned above.
“I nearly cried with relief, but I was actually too excited about moving forward to waste those tears. To help me identify my values, Ivy did this amazing exercise with a stack of cards with words on them like Honesty, Beauty, Duty, Fitness - principles and morals and such. I had to winnow down to a handful of words that meant the most to me. Then down to three, and ultimately to one word. My final three were Justice, Connection and Intellect. I chose Connection as my top value. The goal now is to make all my decisions, to fully life my life, with my values at the center.”
Finally, the original text offers up the hope that god will prevail and all will be okay in the end - which lends itself nicely to the romance genre.
A central unifying concept very much exists, it'd be a weird retelling of a moral lesson if there wasn't a moral or two. There are three independent, strong but kind women in this story. They form a solid support structure for each other, and this is a key underlying concept the book plays with - females boosting and bolstering females. I really loved this element of the story. We also have our MFC, grieving and lost. She grieves not only for her lost husband, but also due to childhood trauma we learn about later on in the book - act 3.
The underlying reasons for Holland's reactions to triggering situations is the fact that she does not feel worthy of love, and lives with a fear of abandonment - thanks mom! There is also (of course) an overarching, 'everything will turn out alright in the end' vibe, which just so happens to be the key theme of the 'Book of Ruth' too! Although that's because God makes sure redemption is possible, it was all his doing back then. But 'Holland My Heart' switches that up some what, shifting the narrative to favour a matriarch 'god-like' character - Holland's Mother-in-Law, who definitely weaves her magic to ensure a happy ending for Holland.
TONE 2 out of 5
For the most part the tone works well for the book, there were a few bits where Holland (the main female character - MFC) goes a little weird for Kai (the main male character MMC). I found this amusing because Kai in Maori means food and there are several occasions throughout the book where Holland is salivating over Kai. Hot men being 'yummy' isn't something I've ever connected with. Hot men are sexy, and sexy means their presence have a visceral effect on a woman's loins - not their stomach.
"His bespoke ecru jeans (turns out there really is such a thing as custom denim) fit him in a way that makes my mouth water."
I think I am being a little harsh here - I'm 70,000 words into writing my first manuscript, and I am pretty positive I am not nailing tone either. It's hard to get right! It's hard to get what's in my head down on the page in a way that actually conveys what I am trying to get across. But I think about Elizabeth Gilbert's 'Eat Pray Love' or any of the Mhairi MacFarlane's books and I know it's possible, it just takes practice I guess?
SETTING 2 out of 5
This book is a contemporary story, definitely set in today's sustainably-focused world. There's faux fur jackets and vegan boots - all very 2022!
"I'm in my tall white, vegan cowboy boots"
It focuses on relationships not so much place. I could however relate to Holland's post-marriage minimalist/empty white loft in Los Angeles that she moves into after following her Mother-in-law across the USA. I had a very similar experience living in my home with a couch-less lounge room for months and months after ending a relationship.
I don't know, perhaps I am being picky here too with my score? I guess on reflection (several months after reading the book) there is a level of opulence that should emanate from the pages of a romance novel that features a billionaire boyfriend - and while I admit my memory is shit, I can't remember feeling that when Holland is whisked away on his private jet etc. Just a tad more description in this space may have made a difference - but then who am I to say!
CHARACTERS 3 out of 5
KAI
Kai an American-Samoan was raised by his father and his grandfather. His mother abandoned him when he was five.
"...my mother left when I was five, making some excuse about needing to discover what she thought for herself. "All this testosterone," she waited as she threw some clothes in a bag. "I can't hear myself think. I'm not running away from you, baby," she said as she kissed me on the top of my head, "I'm running toward me."
I do wish this dynamic between Kai's mother and father had been explored further - this story could be a whole other book - perhaps that is Coldwater's plan?
To me he seemed to be the spitting image of The Rock, a tall rich, bald dude. I don't equate bald men - even if they are shaven heads - as something that is sexy. It's just a personal preference. My hubby has a thick head of lovely chocolate brown hair, I love his hair so I guess I like my fictional men with a full head of luscious hair for that reason.
HOLLAND
Even though Holland has survived more than her fair share of adversity, she comes across fragile - that's obviously to do with the fact that she thought she had stablised her life after a tumultuous childhood via her marriage to the well-to-do Aiden, but when he died, she is flung again into the world at the will of the universe or more accurately (and luckily) her well-connected, wealthy, mother-in-law.
CLIMAX 3 out of 5
According to my googling, the climax of a story is "the highest point of tension in the storyline, often depicted by a confrontation between the protagonist [the lead character - Holland] and the antagonist [a character who actively opposes or is hostile to someone or something - this could be Holland herself, or her mother]. A climax resolves the main conflict of the story and is the moment the main character reaches - or fails to reach - their goal."
So, based on the above, I'm pretty sure the climax relates to Holland's relationship (or lack there of) with her no-good mother and how this has impacted her belief in herself. So perhaps I should have listened to my initial gut-feel on what I assumed the conflict of this book was (i.e. Holland's internal conflict with herself) is the conflict?
There's a part in the story where Holland reacts badly to some information she overhears, and subsequently she almost ruins her second chance at love with Kai. This reaction is driven by the underlying childhood trauma that she has not dealt with. So I suspect this may be the climax? However I am not sure - I gave conflict a 3 (and again, that may be harsh of me - as an unpublished, aspiring writer - who am I to judge) but.... I think the impact of Holland's mother on her, could have been explored further - in terms of really getting that conflict on the page - perhaps a few more examples of times in Holland's life (before Aiden) where she came unstuck because of her unresolved conflict with her self-belief and mother perhaps? I don't know - for all I know that is actually in the book, and I just can't remember it, because I was slack and this review has taken me way longer to actually write.
RESOLUTION 4 out of 5
Here's an ode to one of the prominent tropes that led me to want to read this book (hint Second Chance).
"You got a good one," Ximena says. And we both hear the silent end of that sentence: again. My heart aches for Mena - we both have lost so much. Every day I miss Aiden, and I know she longs for Ethan just as much, just as profoundly. And, yet, I've found a partner and true love, a second chance at a happily ever after. And my poor friend is still alone."
Yeah, you'll get your desired HEA when you read this book - it's full of good feels at the end! It also offers a decent amount of substance too! Including a hint of balanced, female empowerment - something that I really appreciated! From the three strong female characters, navigating this world as best they can through their own similar adversity to Kai's mother opting out of her motherly duties for her own sanity and identity - now I'm not saying that's a cool thing to do, I'm just saying the book has a decent level of substance, underpinned by a lovely romance.
" Wedding rings are made precious by warning them. Your rings say that even in your individuality, you have chosen to be bound together."
"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and my faith in us."
I think, sometimes in real-life we can lose the meaning of our wedding rings and I really like how Coldwater offers up the meaning behind wearing our wedding rings. It makes me think how devious some people are, when they choose to remove their rings while out in town with friends - sans their husband or wife - in the hope they will meet someone other than their much better half. That kind of behaviour and action is just deplorable - and I must clarify this does not happen at all in this book. It's just something that popped into my head while reading this line - I'm mystified and fascinated by the terrible things humans do to each other, especially the ones we (apparently) love the most.
As I have mentioned previously there's several lovely life lessons / morals in this book...
"Confronting my mother wasn't actually about her at all. I had to go to talk to her to find some resolution for myself. I needed it to realise I can only be responsible for me."
RATING BREAKDOWN
ELEMENT | OF A NOVEL | RATING |
Conflict | The lifeblood of a story, creating Tension, launching Plot and evoking Theme. | 4 / 5 |
Tension | Something ominous, simmering under the surface. Comes to fruition beginning of Act 2 | 2 / 5 |
Plot | A strong plot is centred on one moment. Raising a dramatic question to be answered. | 4 / 5 |
Theme | An important idea woven throughout the story. Links a big idea about our world with the action of the text. | 4 / 5 |
Tone | The mood implied by the Author's word choice. The way the text makes the reader feel. | 2 / 5 |
Setting | Relates to the time and place in which the story is told. | 2 / 5 |
Characters | Are they unique, three-dimensional, with depth, personality and clear motivations? | 3 / 5 |
Climax | The most exciting part of the story, when the Conflict is resolved. i.e. when the dragon is slayed. | 3 / 5 |
Resolution | The end of the story, occurring after the climax, when we learn what happens to the characters after the conflict is resolved. | 4 / 5 |
TOTAL | | 3 / 5 |
GOODREADS STAR RATING SYSTEM
0 stars = Goodreads doesn't offer up a description for zero star ratings.
1 star = "Did not like it."
2 stars = "It was okay."
3 stars = "liked it."
4 stars = "Really liked it"
5 stars = "It was amazing."
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